Just sharing about a book that I read called "The Happiness Code" by Domonique Bertolucci, a life coach based in Australia.
The book is about the "10 keys to being the best that you can be". The author gives tips on the 10 key principles one should apply in life in order to experience lifelong happiness and contentment. It a book that's easy to read and the author also shares real life examples that we can easily relate to. Here are the 10 keys :
1st Key : Take charge - The Principle of Choice
It is important to
choose to be the best that you can be, own up to your true potential and step into your brilliance. In short, stop making excuses and be honest with yourself as to what you want from life and be motivated to go for it!
2nd Key: Let it Go - The Principle of Acceptance
It's not worth it to waste our energy in trying to control things. We just have to accept that there are things and events that are beyond our control. What is important is how we will accept things that happen in our lives.
The author shared that "Being a control freak is a sign of a vulnerable self-esteem. The better you feel about yourself the less you need to control everything around you." This is true we become at peace with ourselves when we let go of things and circumstances that do not go our way.
She reminds us not to become over-achievers since she said over-achievers tend to always become worried that nothing they do will ever be good enough and they try harder and harder to get the validation that they crave.
The author mentioned that "The only thing you have total control over is who you choose to be. Be the best you can be."
3rd Key: Live for Now
Being mindful and living in the present is important. It is best to experience things "now" and not to keep on worrying about the future nor being stuck in the past. As the author mentioned, it is important to accept the past, dream of the future, but live in the moment!
Just remember life is short and what you do in the moment or in the "now" is what matters. So savor every moment in the present.
4th Key: Expect the Best- The Principle of Optimism
It's best to have a positive outlook and expect the best. Expect the best from life and you will usually get it. Positive thinking and being optimistic is good for us.
Having a positive attitude and being optimistic leads to better outcome and good opportunities in life.
5th Key: Back Yourself - The Principle of Belief
It is important to learn to believe in your dreams, your ideas and yourself. By believing in oneself dreams become possible.
The author mentioned that "The happiest, most successful people believe in themselves unconditionally. They know they can do, be and have all they want in life."
One of the best gifts you can give yourself is "self-belief" and not to rely on what others will say. It is best not to undermine yourself and put yourself down. People need to nurture their self-esteem and protect their sense of self -worth. Being the best you can be means one is able to say "I did my best and my best was good enough".
The author also shared in the book that it is never too late to believe in oneself. She mentioned: "Regardless of your upbringing or formative experiences, it is never too late to start believing in yourself.
One of my favorite songs called "You are the Universe" includes this line: "If you conceive it, you can achieve it... I believe in you"
6th Key: Get Out of the Way - The Principle of Permission
It is true that the only person who can really hold you back in life is you. You have the ability overcome your limiting beliefs , ideas and attitudes and give yourself the permission to shine. One must take ownership of his or her own life and take the responsibility to do one's best in order to succeed.
We've heard of success stories of how people from humble beginnings have become successful in life because they believed in themselves and that they are capable of achieving their dreams as long as they work for it.
A good friend of mine once told me that what you do with your time, talent and your money matters and that you are in control of your life.
7th Key: Be Grateful - The Principle of Abundance
Being grateful of what you have is good and can make you feel happy. One good way to truly appreciate what you have is to list down what you are grateful for in a gratitude journal. You would rather be thankful of what you have and not look at others and think about what you do not have. Just remember how blessed you are and you will feel happier.
I remember what Oprah Winfrey shared before that one thing that made a difference in her life is when she started to write daily in her Gratitude journal and that she listed 5 things that she is grateful for everyday. She also said that if you concentrate in what you have then you will have more. It is important to allow ourselves to feel grateful and be receptive to the good things that come in our lives.
Being grateful of the blessings we receive is good and appreciating what your loved ones do to help you by giving thank you notes is a good way to let them know that you are grateful of what you have in life.
8th Key: Give All You Can - The Principle of Generosity
Giving and being generous makes people feel good. Generosity is not just about giving material things but can also be in the form of giving one's time, energy and spirit. Remember that what you give in life will determine what you receive. In the book, the author shared that it is important to be generous in our relationships and not to judge people. She also mentioned that if you want to be the best you can be, don't judge anyone. Not even yourself.
9th Key: Keep it up - The Principle of Commitment
Don't be complacent. If you are committed to being the best you can be, then you are already becoming that person. It is important for one to commit to being happy and make choices that will support one's commitment. It is important for one to make good decisions and be proactive about maintaining and sustaining happiness in one's life.
Remember that things we have in mind are just intentions if we do not do our part in putting them into actions.
10th Key: Be Brave - The Principle of Courage
The principle of courage is about doing the right thing for you and having the courage to do it, even at that time it feels like the hardest thing in the world!
The author shared that "Being the best you can be takes courage. You need to own your decisions and have the courage to see them through." In life,we also need to have the guts to do things and go out of our comfort zones in order to achieve things and not live a life thinking about "what if".
Overall, the 10 keys on The Happiness Code book shared by Bertolucci are practical tips we can apply in our lives. For me, the most important is the 7th key. If one is grateful of what one has then one appreciates life more even during tough times and one will be able to rise above the challenging times by keeping this in mind.
Just remember that you may go through tough times sometimes but there are other people who could be facing more difficult challenges than what you are experiencing but they are not giving up.
What matters is that we value what we have in life and to commit to do our best in order to have a meaningful life. So there might be curve balls that we will encounter, failures that we may have to deal with and everything may not be perfect but we should not stop believing in ourselves and just continue to do our best as life goes on.
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