I
recently read the best-selling book called the “Year
of Yes” by Shonda Rhimes. In the book, Shonda shared about how her
commitment to saying ‘Yes’ for a year changed everything.
Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes source: amazon.com |
Shonda
Rhimes is the successful and well-known writer, creator and executive producer
of hit TV shows such as Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder and The
Catch. Her production company is called ShondaLand.
She
has three daughters and she graduated from Dartmouth College. She is an independent woman who knows what she wants. She opted to raise her kids on her own since she admits that although she enjoys dating she never wants to get married.
In
the book, Shonda shares her thoughts, experience and learnings from committing
to saying ‘Yes’ for a year to situations which were quite difficult for her.
Shonda Rhimes source: amazon.com |
She
revealed that she is an introvert and that ShondaLand already started when she
was a child. Shonda was only 11 years old when she started creating characters
and writing stories.
She
admits that she sometimes expressed herself through the characters that she has
created for TV. Christina Yang, a character in Grey’s Anatomy, is a character
that she can relate to a lot. She also admits having a little bit of Olivia
Pope, a character in Scandal, in her too.
Her
self-deprecating sense of humor and sincere approach on sharing her thoughts
shows that she is someone who is witty and realistic. There was a part in the
book when she revealed that the name of her kids’ nanny is Jenny McCarthy(yes the
same name as the popular actress/celebrity in the US) and how grateful she is
to her nanny since she admits that as a mother she cannot do it all. It was
pretty funny how she revealed to readers the name of her nanny and the many
situations when she depended on her.
Some
of the life lessons in Shonda’s “Year of Yes” that she shared are as follows:
Say ‘Yes’ to being a doer
During
her commencement speech at Dartmouth University in 2014, she told the new
graduates that they should be a “doer and not a dreamer”. Her advice is keep
moving forward, keep seizing the next opportunity and stay open to trying
something new.
Say ‘Yes’ to play
Shonda believes that it is important to say ‘Yes’ to
giving yourself the permission to shift the focus of what is a priority from
what’s good for you over to what makes you feel good.
She
knows that her job is incredibly important but she also realized that playing
with her kids is now more important than her job since it is also her “happy
place”. It is what she learned when she said ‘Yes’ to her youngest daughter who
asked her “Momma, wanna play?”. Today, she puts down everything once her
daughter asks her to play.
Shonda’s
advice is to look for your own happy place, a positive one, that gives you joy.
Say ‘Yes’ to your body and to health
Shonda
decided to say “Yes” to being healthier so she worked out regularly, drank a
lot of water everyday and ate nutritious food. She lost more than 120 pounds
and now has more energy for work and play with her kids. She also feels better
about herself.
She
said that it is important to accept yourself fully so that you can feel beautiful
and make better choices for yourself. Whether you want to lose weight, gain
weight or stay the same, saying “yes” to loving your body and commit to giving
it the best you can, because you deserve it.
Say ‘Yes’ to real friendships
It
is important to know who your true friends are. When you become an honest
healthy person, you can cultivate honest, healthy relationships with others.
Shonda mentioned that it is important to surround yourself with people who
treat you well and people whose self-worth and respect and values inspire you
to elevate your own behaviour. Real friends are truthful, stand by you, cheer
you on and make you want to be a better person.
Say ‘Yes’ to saying No to toxic people
Shonda
learned to say ‘Yes’ to saying No to toxic people in her life.
Difficult
conversations are sometimes necessary for personal growth and for the health of
your relationships and the people who love you will want to grow along with
you. By not allowing toxic people to stay in your life, you will also be able
to attract more positivity and be happy.
Life
is short so it is best to spend time with true friends with integrity who
inspire you to be better and not waste time hanging out with people who are
toxic and just drain your energy.
Say ‘Yes’ to who you are and to love
It
is important to be honest with yourself and others and accepting honesty in
return. You can fully embrace all that you are and all that you are not.
Shonda
mentioned in the book that “Happiness comes from being who you actually are
instead of who you think you are supposed to be”. It also comes from living as you need to, as
you want to.
Part
of loving yourself if fully embracing your “perfectly imperfect” self and changing
for the better. By doing this, you will be always be dancing under the sun.
It is
also a reminder for us that we need to say ‘Yes’ to situations that make us go
out of our comfort zones in order to learn and achieve more in life. So ‘Yes’
to doing more good things and experiencing more positive experiences in life! Cheers!
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