Lessons from Shonda Rhimes

I recently read the best-selling book called the “Year of Yes” by Shonda Rhimes. In the book, Shonda shared about how her commitment to saying ‘Yes’ for a year changed everything.

Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes

source: amazon.com

Shonda Rhimes is the successful and well-known writer, creator and executive producer of hit TV shows such as Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice,  Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder and The Catch. Her production company is called ShondaLand.

She has three daughters and she graduated from Dartmouth College. She is an independent woman who knows what she wants. She opted to raise her kids on her own since she admits that although she enjoys dating she never wants to get married.

In the book, Shonda shares her thoughts, experience and learnings from committing to saying ‘Yes’ for a year to situations which were quite difficult for her.

Shonda Rhimes

source: amazon.com

She revealed that she is an introvert and that ShondaLand already started when she was a child. Shonda was only 11 years old when she started creating characters and writing stories.

She admits that she sometimes expressed herself through the characters that she has created for TV. Christina Yang, a character in Grey’s Anatomy, is a character that she can relate to a lot. She also admits having a little bit of Olivia Pope, a character in Scandal, in her too.

Her self-deprecating sense of humor and sincere approach on sharing her thoughts shows that she is someone who is witty and realistic. There was a part in the book when she revealed that the name of her kids’ nanny is Jenny McCarthy(yes the same name as the popular actress/celebrity in the US) and how grateful she is to her nanny since she admits that as a mother she cannot do it all. It was pretty funny how she revealed to readers the name of her nanny and the many situations when she depended on her.

Some of the life lessons in Shonda’s “Year of Yes” that she shared are as follows:

Say ‘Yes’ to being a doer

During her commencement speech at Dartmouth University in 2014, she told the new graduates that they should be a “doer and not a dreamer”. Her advice is keep moving forward, keep seizing the next opportunity and stay open to trying something new.

Say ‘Yes’ to play

Shonda  believes that it is important to say ‘Yes’ to giving yourself the permission to shift the focus of what is a priority from what’s good for you over to what makes you feel good.

She knows that her job is incredibly important but she also realized that playing with her kids is now more important than her job since it is also her “happy place”. It is what she learned when she said ‘Yes’ to her youngest daughter who asked her “Momma, wanna play?”. Today, she puts down everything once her daughter asks her to play.

Shonda’s advice is to look for your own happy place, a positive one, that gives you joy.

Say ‘Yes’ to your body and to health

Shonda decided to say “Yes” to being healthier so she worked out regularly, drank a lot of water everyday and ate nutritious food. She lost more than 120 pounds and now has more energy for work and play with her kids. She also feels better about herself. 

She said that it is important to accept yourself fully so that you can feel beautiful and make better choices for yourself. Whether you want to lose weight, gain weight or stay the same, saying “yes” to loving your body and commit to giving it the best you can, because you deserve it.

Say ‘Yes’ to real friendships

It is important to know who your true friends are. When you become an honest healthy person, you can cultivate honest, healthy relationships with others. Shonda mentioned that it is important to surround yourself with people who treat you well and people whose self-worth and respect and values inspire you to elevate your own behaviour. Real friends are truthful, stand by you, cheer you on and make you want to be a better person.

Say ‘Yes’ to saying No to toxic people

Shonda learned to say ‘Yes’ to saying No to toxic people in her life. 

Difficult conversations are sometimes necessary for personal growth and for the health of your relationships and the people who love you will want to grow along with you. By not allowing toxic people to stay in your life, you will also be able to attract more positivity and be happy.

Life is short so it is best to spend time with true friends with integrity who inspire you to be better and not waste time hanging out with people who are toxic and just drain your energy.

Say ‘Yes’ to who you are and to love

It is important to be honest with yourself and others and accepting honesty in return. You can fully embrace all that you are and all that you are not.

Shonda mentioned in the book that “Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be”.  It also comes from living as you need to, as you want to.

Part of loving yourself if fully embracing your “perfectly imperfect” self and changing for the better. By doing this, you will be always be dancing under the sun.

Shonda’s book is certainly an honest revelation about how someone so successful realized that she needed to change by saying ‘Yes’ in order to conquer her fears.

It is also a reminder for us that we need to say ‘Yes’ to situations that make us go out of our comfort zones in order to learn and achieve more in life. So ‘Yes’ to doing more good things and experiencing more positive experiences in life! Cheers!